According to Tur and Shulchan Aruch (O Chaim 240) it's good to use your wife, but it's even better if you fight the Yeatzer Hora and hold yourself back, like we see in Sanhedrin 107 by King David That the more you feed him (The penis) the hungrier he gets.
So the question is, why did Rova run home to have sex with his wife after Abaya's wife came around? (Ksubos 65a) Why didn't he just hang out with the freezer boys and talk politics, and eat Cholent Thursday night? And why did Rav Chiya (who had a bad wife) say that "it's good enough that they raise our kids and save us from sin" (Yevamos 63). I thought when the sin pops up you should just fight it?
The answer is that Rova had sex because he was horny, while King David became horny because he had sex (For no good reason). To understand this see Aug 12, 2013.