August 24, 2014

There are many good girls out there but there are very few good boys (Letter to Mishpacha this week)

"Boys don't have emotional and spiritual health." "It used to be that a girl was happy just to get married and have financial security, even if he wasn't such a nice guy, but now they want a 'relationship." This is all very interesting. So let's see, how do we compare boys to girls? 

Let's start dirty. We know that the boys and girls are looking at movies and Internet. If a boy masturbates he is full of guilt and self hate and he may even have the same symptoms as a molested boy, but if a girl masturbates and plays with herself it's not a big deal, as long as she doesn't think about having znus with someone, like we see in Egros Moshe Ev He 1, 69. And even if she has a love affair with another girl in seminary I already told you that it's impossible for 2 women to have sex. They're just horsing around.

So again, how do we compare boys to girls? Rashi says in the beginning of Sota that Zivug 1 is according to "mazel" while zivug 2 is according to a persons actions -"a tznua to a tzadik and a prutza to a rasha. So the question is, if most girls are good and very few boys are good, which girls get the tzadik? So we have to get very picky with the tzneeus. Let's say that the girls who go around with "factory ripped dresses" - they go to the bad boys even though she has a shell underneath. 

Jackie Mason once said, "if you tell an Italian girl that she looks like a slut she'll smack you in the face, but if you tell a Jewish girl she looks like a slut she'll say "really? What is it? Is it the way I walk? Or the way I dress? OMG! I'm so exited!! That's a "quality girl, full of emotional and spiritual maturity." 

Which brings us to the 'relationship'. You  cannot have a real relationship with your wife unless you walk around the lake and tell her "I just can't live without you. if I can't have you I'll just jump in the lake 'baby." And it's even nicer if you go down on your knees and sing 'Eyshes Chayil to your wife in front of the swans, like they do at the end of Modern Orthodox weddings. And from then on she wears the pants in the house and makes kiddush Friday night. 

Can somebody tell these girls that in the movies people get "paid" to have loving relationships, and to do whatever the director tells them to do, but in real life they can't stay married for 5 minutes? I once saw an old goy in rehab and his wife was with him all the time, so loving to him. So I asked her "how long are you married?" So she says '65' years'. So I said "wow", how come today you can't stay married for 5 minutes? So she says instantly "because today while they're  walking down the isle they're already thinking about the next one."