The question basically is, "It's not fair that as a secular mother, I always have to worry about my son coming back alive, while you never have these worries." This is stupid. Shall we make 2 lists to compare all secular worries to all Charedi worries? What about the hardship of doing Torah and mitzvos? What about the IDF girls getting undressed all over Facebook, and using their rifles as "slut poles", and you just laugh, while I have to worry about my son becoming a 'slut'?
And why don't YOU do Torah and mitzvos? Is it because you want to live the "good" life, that the only thing you'll ever have to worry about is loosing a son? I showed you already that learning Torah is a bigger sacrifice then the army. And the proof is that all secular boys would rather go to the army then go to yeshiva.