July 10, 2012

Sex talk shows and the Talmud

So, do you still believe that everything that goes on in the world is in the Torah? Yes I do. OK, let me ask you. I read in a book that ladies who work in the beauty parlor (pedicures) are 3 times more likely to have a miscarriage then regular women. They blame it on the hair sprays. Where is this in the Torah? Answer, it's not from the hair sprays, it's from stepping on nail clippings. (Needa 17a, moed Katan 18a)

OK, here's another one. Years ago I was listening to a sex talk show. It was one of those Dr. Judy, Dr. this, Dr. that. And the guys were calling and saying that when they go down on their girlfriends they can smell what the girl was eating. Like if she's eating chocolate they would smell chocolate. And the doctor would tell them to stop hallucinating. where is this in the Torah?

Answer, a guy came to Rabbi Gamliel Bar Rebbe and complained that he had sex with his new wife and there was no blood (She's not a virgin), and the wife said "i'm still a virgin even now". (I guess the boy didn't know what he was doing) So Rabbi Gamliel said "bring me 2 maidservants, one virgin and one used". So they brought him and he sat them down on wine barrels. The used one had the smell of wine come out of her mouth, and the virgin had no smell. 

And then he sat the wife down and there was no smell. So the Talmud asks, why did he have to practice first with the maidservants? And the answer is that he knew about this trick from the girls of Yovaysh Gilad (Yevamos 60b) but he wasn't sure he knew exactly how to do it, if it would work, so he first made a test. (Ksuvos 10b)  Soooooooo! You still wanna laugh at the Talmud?