February 28, 2012

Deborah Feldman marries off Jane Austen and Pippi Longstocking

When Deborah Feldman was a kid she asked her mother "how do you get babies?" So her mother said "you take baby powder and mix it with chicken soup and silly putty". When Deborah Feldman got married at 17, she had absolutely no idea what to do. Her teacher did something with her fingers, but Deborah Feldman had absolutely no idea what it meant. 

Now Deborah Feldman says she spent hours and hours in the libraries far away from the frum neighborhoods as she grew up. Now what did she do in the library all those years? She obviously never looked at sex teaching books or romance novels, since at 17 she knew nothing about sex. I guess when she saw a romance novel she thought it was a coloring book, and for 10 years she never bothered to open one. 

So what did Deborah Feldman do in the library? She read "Jane Austen buys baby powder", "Jane Austen buys silly putty", "Pippi Longstocking buys chicken soup". And then she read "Jane Austen married Pippi Longstocking in the Continental, and they had a baby together". And then they lived happily ever after. Happy Purim!