November 27, 2011

Bas Yisrael

Even though I played with the Internet for 10 years and I may have done some "L" stuff in seminary, I still only want a boy who never saw a movie (But he should be very worldly). And I prefer a boy who will one day be a Rosh Yeshiva. 

And if he doesn't become a Rosh Yeshiva I will make his life miserable until he does. And if he becomes a Rosh Yeshiva but he doesn't make it BIG, I will make his life miserable until he makes it BIG. And if he makes it BIG but I myself don't make it BIG like Zahava Braunstien I will still make his life miserable. 

I will open a woman's minyan in the Upper West Side, and make a nice Ezras Anashim where the men can Daven, so they can see their precious little Bat Mitzva daughters lain from the Torah. 

And when the main shul upstairs finishes davening and we can finally finally have mixed seating for the speeches, I will climb over the men and take a seat between them. And the man next to me will ask "what do you do"? And I will say, "I'm a rabbi". And he will say "there is no such thing as a woman rabbi" (Click Oct 28). And I will get furious, and I will climb over another 10 men and sit down next to a nice young guy. And then I will notice that he can't stop looking at me. What does he think I am, some stupid nekaaayva?

I don't know why G-d made men. They can't stop thinking about women for five minutes. In my woman's minyan we only think about the glorious rise of feminism, and in which hat Bella Abzug hid all her cash.

P.S. See Kiddushin 81a that they had separate seating for men and woman for the speeches and for chuppa etc. (See Rashi "gulfi") That they made a "rattle" mechitza so that if one sex went to the other to flirt around and sin, the stuff would rattle. And these speeches during the fat lazy holidays was the number one headache of Yechud and sexual problems for the entire year. And that's why we fast Bahab after passover and sukkos. (Tosfos ibid) Reb Moshe never brought proof from korbon peasach that you can have mixed seating. He only brought proof that in such a setting you don't need a mechitza, but nobody ever said there wasn't separate tables. (O.CH. 1, 41)  Reb Moshe called mixed seating "a burning fire in flax" (Sota 48a) (ibid 44). The Talmud criticized Vashti for making the woman's party in the kings palace (as opposed to the queens palace) In order to have lewdness. And after all this the women still had their own separate party. Which means that they were not eating in the same room as Achashvayrosh and the men. Otherwise it would only be one big party, and Achashvayrosh would not have had to call Vashti to show her off to the men. So you see that mixed seating was unheard of. I think mixed seating came along with feminism, and there was no feminism in those days. (Click Oct 18)