July 31, 2011

Gays and lesbians have no bonding

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". (Genesis 2, 24) When they have a baby they become one flesh, (Rashi) (Not when they adopt) but what does "cling" mean? 

"You shall cling", this teaches you "but not to a man". Because since when you have gay sex only one of them enjoys it (the penetrator) therefore there is no bonding. Therefore the Torah is not talking about relationships that cannot have any bonding. (Rashi Sanhedrin 58a, on the bottom) 

The same thing is with your wife. If you have anal sex with your wife (which is permitted) there is no bonding, because she does not enjoy it (in general) (ibid 58b). This must be repeated! If you don't make your wife happy in bed there is no bonding!

It goes without saying that there is no bonding between lesbians, since they cannot have sex at all, and we see that the Torah is only talking about sex (where you can have a baby and be one flesh). But for some reason G-d said that anal sex is also called sex. (Sanhedrin 54a)  However, there is no bonding.

What is the next verse after "they shall be one flesh"? It says "they were both naked". This teaches you what the Talmud says (Ksuvos 48a, and Ritva) that if you can only have sex (or sleep together) with underwear or a sheet then get divorced. (Bal Haturim Genesis 2, 24-25) See also Brachos 24a, and Rashi Shabbos 13a (That there was no underwear). And see also Yakov Emdin on the first Tosfos of Nedda 17, that the sheet does not go between them but on top of them. 

By the way, if your wife is a bed wetter and you can't sleep together with her in the same bed, this is considered a big Mum. (Poskim E.H. 39, D.M. 3) At least in the old days cuddling was very important. Today I don't think you want to cuddle with a wife that looks down at you, so it's better to be heiiiiiiilig, and sleep on the other end of the room. Or better yet, sleep in a different room, and think about your female co-workers.