September 28, 2014

Orthodox and stuck

If you grew up regular frum Orthodox and you are stuck with your wife, don't worry, we can help you get rid of your wife and join Avi Weiss's Talmudic whorehouse, where you can check out the girls under the skirt when they go up to the pulpit and give musser. Of course your mind will not be on the musser but that's OK as long as you make sure to put tissues in your zipper. 

It doesn't matter why you want to leave your wife. Maybe the girls on the movies and Internet are prettier, or you just have this 'unbelievable craving' to have sex with 3 brilliant female rabbis in the rabbis office, after they call you in to lecture you. Or maybe you just trust Avi Weiss's penis - that he knows where all the hot girls are. Whatever it is, you can trust us that we will help you get unstuck, and then you will experience the female perfume of the Torah wafting through the air. AAAHHHHH!  I'm thinking about Torah enveloped in pink lace. Now that's a happy ending!