August 20, 2013

The beauty of today's society

The other day I arrived at college and I read the new transgender laws. My question is,
 #1) If I go to the girls locker room and harass the girls can I tell the judge that there was really no harassment because I'm really a girl?

 #2) If I shtuup a girl under 18, can I tell the judge that I'm really a girl and I'm lesbian? 
#3) If I shtuup a boy under 18, can I tell the judge that there was really no sex because we're both lesbian? 
#4) If I decide that I'm really a girl and I use the girls bathroom, and it starts smelling like a mans bathroom because the pee misses the toilet, how will they rectify this? Will they say "all transgenders must sit on the toilet and bend their penis down into the toilet?" What if the pee won't come out this way?

And what if the transgender guy is fat, and his penis is way out in left field, are they going to say "all fat transgenders must bring along a 'urinal' if using the girls bathroom?" You can't do that! It's discrimination! And anyway, I want to see what happens when you have a few girls standing by the sink, and along comes this 300 pounder to wash out his urinal. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So the answer is that even skinny transgenders will need to use a urinal in order not to discriminate. But then you're discriminating against 'all' transgenders, So now even the regular men's bathroom will be 'urinal only', and there will be police in every bathroom enforcing this. And since used urinals are disgusting, every public bathroom in America will need to install separate sinks for washing urinals. Forget about fist fights. From now on it's urine fights. And what if the transgender guy spills his urine on top of the girl sitting on the next toilet? So from now on all public bathrooms must be redone with separate bathrooms. No more stalls. But if that's the case then who needs segregated bathrooms?   (See Jul 8, 2013)

P.S. Will every Tablet carry bag now have a special 'urinal' pocket?