November 21, 2013

The Yeshivos hold marriage -hostage to 'Nivul Peh'

Did you know that if a boy can't control himself he must get married first even if he can't learn good after marriage? (See Jul 19 b, 2013) And did you know that when the Talmud says "I made the Yeatzer Hora and I made the Torah as it's medicine (Band aid)" , did you know that this is only talking about 'normal' people who get married on time and have 'bread in their basket'? (I bring proof of this). 

NU! NUU! NUUUUUU! Shaaaaaah! Shaaaaaaaaah! How can you even talk like this? You're not ashamed of yourself? Our boys are the best boys in Lakewood, and they would never do this. Never do what? NUU! Shaaaaah! Nivul Peh! And what was your son doing in a parked car with a computer, 4 am. in the Shoprite parking lot? NUU! SHaaaaaaH! You're killing the Shidduch! We're asking for a 26 foot speedboat when he gets out of the freezer, and maybe even a gold plated 'Pagani' if the Shidduch goes well.

Yes folks, it's that time of the year, when Rabbi Nissin Kaplan starts shooting off his mouth on Chanuka, and there is no end in sight with the details of the chumros. Like he himself never lit a floating wick because the wick moves down to a different place. So the boys asked him "a candle also has a moving wick? 

Anyway, Before Brisk it could be that a yeshiva boy lit when he got home just like a working guy lights when he gets home, but after Brisk you can't just do that. It's gotta be a whole matzav, and you have to learn rocket science before you figure out exactly what time to light. Needless to say, everyone has a different lighting time, and second sayder is shot to pieces. It's not good for Torah but who doesn't want a break? The guys actually feel guilty that they run away from the Gemoroh, and then they run back, each chavrusa a different time, some with Latkes falling out of their mouths. 

So it's not good for Torah, but who gives a damn. This is the time to do the Mitzva and so be it, even though today we all light indoors anyway. But when it comes time to get married everything goes on hold because it's not good for the yeshiva. but if you start talking about dirty subjects it's like "because you have a dirty mind you want to close down the freezer?" Don't you know that when the freezer boys learn Torah the heavens shake for 20 minutes straight and all the rich girls come falling down?

Of course, of course, "the holy of the holies", 'the deepest of the deep", "the purist of the pure", "the tablet of the tablet", the poker of the poker". "The Emperor has no clothes". NUUU! Shaaaaaa! Nivul peh!